When I met Swamiji, I was in a lot of emotional pain, and I remember asking for only one boon: I wanted peace—inner peace. I was very conflicted inside and depressed. I was recovering from alcohol and drug dependency and was three years sober at that point. I was struggling to raise a toddler alone, feeling like I had no idea what I was doing and no support. I had overwhelming anxiety attacks and was not able to sleep at night, at times grief consumed me.

In order to survive financially in Los Angeles, I would get up and go to work at 5 a.m. at a bakery and take my son with me. I would set up a blanket in the corner with some videos for him to watch until it was time to take him to school. Then, my boss would give me a break so I could drop him off, and I would come back and work in the front of the restaurant throughout lunch. I would pick him up from daycare at 4 p.m., go home, and start baking again for my own business, delivering vegan pastries to local restaurants. Around 7 or 8 p.m., I would put Uri in the car and drive around making deliveries to all the restaurants. At each stop, I would have to take him out of his car seat, carry him and the pastries inside, and wait to get paid. Then, I would go home and put him to bed, then wake up and do it all again the next day.

About five years later, when Uri was older and after we had met Swamiji and traveled for some time, I decided to go back and finish school. I enrolled in chiropractic school, again with no support and limited financial resources outside of student loans. I also had no one to watch Uri, and I had to be in class for eight hours a day, with at least five hours of studying and writing papers on top of that. I was able to overcome this by purchasing a van and turning it into a living space where we had a bed and could cook. I manifested this van during one of swamijis online programs. I researched van life and bought solar panels to provide electricity for the van. I took my son with me to school, and he would stay in the van on his computer or sometimes even come to class with me. I homeschooled him at the same time, and his curriculum became my classes, so he learned a lot of anatomy and can probably give a chiropractic adjustment.

I dealt with a lot of stress during this time and decided to move closer to the LA temple and volunteer more. I know the normal reaction to stress is to take more time for yourself, but for me, being closer to the temple helped me deal with the heavy stress of school, clinic, and board exams. I didn’t have extra time to volunteer at the temple—I made time because I knew it was important for me, my son, and the growth of the ecosystem.

What motivated me to seek out Kailasa as the ultimate environment for my son to be raised in was very simply the change I saw in him. I first took him to Inner Awakening when he was four, and he went from a tantrum-throwing toddler to a powerful being who could manifest powers and roll a coconut off my hand with his third eye. Later, after living away from Swamiji, I also noticed changes—and not necessarily for the better. The inspired, excited child slowly became more shy and introverted, caring about nothing outside of video games. We moved closer to the LA temple, and he started volunteering. Again, I saw the change: he became happier and better able to handle situations that used to frustrate him.

I joined PSS1, and during that program, Swamiji asked who wanted to be part of Gurukul. I raised my hand because I knew my son needed this and that this was where he belonged. A few days before this, I had also experienced my niece talking about her friend attempting suicide; she is younger than my son. Under Swamiji’s guidance, I understood that regular school would be the fate for my son if I went to work as a chiropractor, and I felt that he needed something more. As soon as I volunteered for Gurukul to become a Kailasavasi, I noticed a change in him immediately. When I told him, he didn’t even resist. I explained to him why I thought this was the best life for him, and he understood. I didn’t even have to persuade him—he agreed that it was the best for him. I was so shocked. He started volunteering more at the temple and enjoying himself. I could see how the influence of the ecosystem was affecting him. He started wearing his dhoti and taking pride in how his hair was styled on top of his head. He became more independent and involved with life. He started to talk more and interact with people.

The message I would share with single parents trying to find their way is this: I understand. I know that it feels impossible at times, and raising a child alone kind of is an impossible job. They need a village—an ecosystem, the right ecosystem—to guide them and help them grow into a conscious being that radiates enlightenment. I would say either become a Kailasavasi or, at the very least, move close to a temple so that you can be part of the ecosystem and bring your kids as much as possible.